i hate everything and everyone and i cant sleep and im sick and fat and horrible looking

i told you i would use this blog for whining
ok fux the world 

going to cute boys house
wtf
3 day in a row
or 4th or 5th or something jesus christ
goodnight  

i’m starting a new blog
i might still post here every now and then when things get too much
but right now i want a fresh new white page

oh my god
so sexyyyyyyyb yuji0=j9-ihougiyutfx yum 

(via smartkidsthatsmokeweed-deactiva)

That special kind of divine creature, he leaves you tongue tied
Imagination running wild
till I’m wishing I could just go up and hit him with some one liner
Like, excuse me mister but would you like to be alone together?
I got some ways that I would like to get to know you better

And this isn’t smooth talk boy, I’m no pretender
You got me watching you like I was front row and centre
And look, I know that I’m ugly as sin
But that ain’t gonna stop me from getting under your skin
Don’t get it twisted

And I’m tryna think of what I’ve got to offer
I’ve got a lovely smile, would you like to see it?
Don’t bring it out too much cause these parts ain’t too scenic

And when it’s all too much, I could lift you up
Boy, me and you, we could be untouchable
We could hide away, stay inside all day
You and me, a DVD and some comfort food

So I’ma sit and stare, just admire from afar
When he walk down the street, he get the birds singing like…

It’s the way one smile sweep me off of my feet
And it’s the way he laughs, it’s the way he cries
You know he look so good up on that pedestal right?
All shapes and sizes, they all prizes to me
Infatuated with the many, many styles of He

Some dedicate their lives to tryna undress him
Empires rise and fall in efforts to impress him
He’ll probably be the death of me too cause truth is that
trigger happy Cupid got me acting pretty stupid

You see, I’ve been struggling ever since I made the discovery
that every day’s a tug between my head, my heart and that other thing

See I been looking for somebody for my passenger seat
and you might be the best thing that never happens to me
So come and meet me at the bar later
and I’ma get to know a brand new He heartbreaker

Damn all these beautiful boys, they only wanna do you dirt
They’ll have you suicidal, suicidal when they say it’s over 

yeah so girls always want me at the worst times
oh god fuck off i want dick right now sorry 
always wanting what they can’t get
i am so glad i am not one of those people 

(via aacids-deactivated20110801)

hello everyone
i spent this afternoon at a cafe with my friends. i ate and i ate and i ate and i ate and i didn’t stop and then i got home and ate some more and now i have a baby in my stomach. no one was home when i got home and that scared me so i tried to go to sleep so i didn’t throw it up but alas, my mind was racing. i didn’t even have any cigarettes. so since that moment, i’ve been on my couch, in the dark, with no tv and no lights in a ball of pain waiting for someone to come home and distract me. i am in serious pain. my head hurts and all i want to do is get this the FUCK out. why do i think i can do this alone? why do i think i can do this at all? it still hasn’t sunk it. that i have a diagnosed eating disorder. i don’t think it ever will. 

last night i slept at cutie’s house and he did all his usual cute things. we watched the l word which was hilarious. fuck, seriously, he knows his fucking cuddling. a few people have told me they think he’s a “douchebag”. i’m not even kidding. i don’t understand and that scares me, you know? what am i missing? it’s only a matter of time before he hurts me. i shouldn’t have let myself get into this position. but i did. fuck. anyway, that’s just me thinking unnecessarily intensely. 

still on the couch. common dad, come home. i need a cigarette. 

old photos of me before dreads
i miss my hair man
spesh when it was blue!!!! wah